Father, I Love You!
Life is balance. It's light, there is dark. There are no cold summer. And, there are men there are also women. Gender balance is not only realized in the form of a marriage bond between adult men and women. But also between a father and daughter. What is the father of the daughter ciliknya will impact far future.
Unconsciously, my father always sikapnya discriminating based on gender. Father tended to be softer and smoother compared to the baby daughter to a baby male. Create a culture of people of different fad polah baby.
When the baby menghentakan women's feet and hands, people will say he is sad. But, when baby boys do the same movement, people will say the pitcher is being angry. The differences appear because of the view that all people think boys should grow into a strong and brave men, women, children and women must be sensitive and gentle.
The role of the father, as her first man known to be a female baby is important because of the ayahlah a daughter learn how to "confront" the man. Michael E. Lamb, author book The Role of the Father in Child Development to reveal the relationship between father and daughter femininitas affect the upik. "Children imitate women and the mother's reaction to his father. From there, he will develop intuition and sikapnya in dealing with the type of opponent," said Lamb.
Lamb believes there are consequences for the relationship between women's experience of a child with his father with the child's ability to make love with other people in life dewasanya. Memories daughter relationship with her father to make it more objective assess membekalinya friend prianya and establish links with the ability to love more healthy.
Senada with Lamb, Catherine Steiner-Adair, a Boston psychologist and the author of the television program Full of ourselves says attitudes towards the father daughter can make the child the relationship with the opposite type.
Being a female child is not easy. Stereotype that women must be good in front of men, and be a man to approve all actions make them fall into the wrong crowd. When at the age of seven-year-old daughter can still reveal perasaannya, at the age of 9-10 years, they tended to close the mouth. Children of women in that age tend to have difficulties to reveal feelings and desires.
They be 'good' to approve any action with the opposite type. So, if the girl ditawari cigarettes by friends lelakinya akan he refused cigarettes because smoking makes them 'not good' in front of men. This also makes children more and more women doing sex free. Steiner-Adair also explain why many girls suffering from bulimia and cilik anoreksia (interference pattern that is eating up the food back into their bodies-Red).
"People are only brand that slim women are beautiful. Gadis-gadis kecil akan always felt too fat and therefore not interesting. A father can help children face violence gadisnya mass with the opinion that it is wrong and most importantly with respect any of the girls form of the body, "says Steiner-Adair.
"Children learn the women's relationship with the men through their fathers, especially if they do not have male relatives. When a father treats a child with her female goodness and tenderness, the child will find a male friend who can treat them the same as the father," she added.
Ayahnyalah of the child to learn about authority, power, competition work, the way to reveal the anger, how to manage money, take risks, and how to develop self-image. A woman who was successful in his career that his father usually has to give advice about careers. The father of the child to learn about investment, finance. Childhood memories that the girls will be recorded and gravitate to it adults.
"The best way to help his father with a daughter is listening to them. Especially when the little girl is being confused, sad, or curious, As a father, you do not need to complete all of the problem. Let them find their own way, you only need to listen and make a child You feel you care about and believe that they can complete the issue alone, "said Steiner Adair.
Girls need time with his father. Time is the proof of love. You can play doll, throwing catching, or chat concerning movies, music or news. "You will see it grow confident, accept and respect the man himself. A child, no need to search for her ideal throughout his life for the psychological needs of the father didapatnya. They also will learn by itself to respect the man and know how to treat it. For, until at any man will feel important and needed if the woman will feel important when needed, "continued Steiner-Adair.
So, make yourself as a father who loved his son. "Father, I love you" will be spoken from the heart not from the lips only. (sra)
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